Artwork: Round One
I began drawing with the intent of sharing with others in 2002, during a stint in a psychiatric hospital. As my ability to communicate verbally waned, I spent more time drawing, trying to express the pain and frustration of my life, as well as some of the hope I had in my Gods and the compassion of others.
What follows are very personal pieces of art. I have never been to an art school or had formal lessons outside of what's given in public school. I guess you could thus call this "outsider art", as I know it's not "professional", but it is a genuine expression of things I was going through, and I believe being able to have an artistic outlet literally saved my life.
I call this "Round One" as it documents a rather dark time in my life, when people thought I would be dead soon and gave up on me; I stopped drawing in 2006 and in 2008 have done the odd piece of digital art; I have as of July 2008 started drawing again, which will be showcased in Artwork Round Two.
Darkness
2002.
Chalk pastel, crayon.
Expressing the total darkness of depression I was experiencing at the time.
Becoming an Unperson
2003.
Oil pastel + colored pencil.
Drawing describes my feeling of shock and terror inside a psychiatric hospital in 2002.
Bullied Outcast
2002.
Crayon, with glittery heart sticker on "my" chest.
Done to capture my feelings of shame and humiliation at being bullied in my teenage years at school.
Wash It All Away
2003.
Crayon.
Done to express the PTSD flashbacks I was having as a result of being date-raped in 1999.
Father
2003.
Oil pastel, marker, crayon, pencil.
A drawing that literally expresses the terror I felt in the presence of my father, an abusive alcoholic.
Mother
2003.
Crayon, colored pencil.
A drawing that expresses my past frustration in my relationship with my mother, who at times has been highly critical of me.
Lovers in the Light
2002.
Crayon, felt pen.
A drawing of myself and a former partner of mine, reflecting on happier times between us.
Falling
2002.
Oil pastel, crayon, felt tip.
The feelings I had about breaking up with a former partner of mine in 2002, which was one more thing going wrong in my life that pushed me "over the edge", so to speak.
Nastrand
2002.
Crayon, oil pastel, felt tip.
Could my feelings about what it was like in the psych hospital be any clearer?
Mourning
2002.
Crayon, felt pen.
My feelings on never being able to go back to my "old life", and my new identity as a "mentally ill" person.
Burden of Death
2003.
Blowpen, marker, gel pen, crayon, collage.
Expressing the pain I felt inside, literally one of "the walking dead".
Torn from Within
2002.
Crayon, oil pastel, felt tip.
Torn between my "light side" and my "dark side".
Trapped
2002.
Chalk pastel, gel, crayon, marker.
Feeling trapped and also exposed/violated by the psychiatric system.
Everyone Wants a Piece of Me
2003.
Blowpen, gel, oil pastel.
Drawn to express the feeling of people in my life making incessant demands on me that I was unable to fulfill.
Loki's Gift
2004.
Oil pastel, crayon.
Drawn in a fit of frustration and desperation about some chaotic life events spiraling out of control.
Faerie Godmother
2003.
Watercolor, oil pastel, crayon, felt tip.
Drawn for a friend of mine who was a help, support, and inspiration to me during one of the darkest times of my life.
Vanic Love
2003.
Oil pastel, collage, pen.
Done as a devotional act to Frey when He first came into my life.
Little One
2005.
Watercolor pencil, marker.
Trying to communicate with my "lost child" within, at a time when I was completely non-verbal.
Allfather Woden
2006.
Watercolor pencil, chalk pastel.
Drawn to express affection for Odin.
Beloved Frigga
2006.
Watercolor pencil, chalk pastel, gel pen.
Drawn to express affection for Frigga.
The Norns
2006. Crayon, oil pastel, chalk pastel, colored pencil.
Drawn following a visionary experience of the Norns.
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.