Allfather

[Verse One]
To all the seekers in the place who seek My face
Allow Me to lace these secret runes in your dunes
Who casts spells and makes war with all the dummies?
The feast at Valhall, sippin' mead, is where you'll find Me
The hall at Gladsheim, wreakin' woe, My crew's behind Me
Mad question askin', rune ristin', lyre blastin'
But I just can't quit
Because what you sow is what you'll reap with
Sleep with, if you seek My secrets - why not
Your ass is Mine if I give you the valknut
Now check it, I got more mojo than Austin Powers in the bed
Believe Me sweetie, it's not only My wolves that are greedy
No need to be speedy, I got mad friends' defenses
Kennings by the layers, wish-givin' your prayers
From Copenhagen to Dover, I'm all over
Be My thrall and be free, that's why I hung from that tree

[Chorus]
I love it when you call Me Allfather
Throw your runes on the ground, if My will's to be found
I love it when you call Me Allfather
To the vitkis gettin magic, makin' life for foes tragic
I love it when you call Me Allfather
If you've got a spear at your waist, please don't pillage the place
Cause I see some Jotynja tonight who should be havin' My baby
Bay-bee

[Verse Two]
Straight up honey really I'm askin
Most wannabe Vikings think they be packin' but they're acting
Who're they fooling with their 'tude, being rude
I learned my seidh from Goddesses, not dudes
They have the skills, to diss Them is ill
Things to make you think, what offerings to drink
If you're on the brink, welcome to My crew
Here's some brew for you
To honor Me, to thine self be true
Sometimes I deceive, Frigga's keys unlock Me
To get past My fronts, there's more to be blunt
So many disguises, names and surprises
But don't call Me fake, I live to create
Conversate for a few, cause in a few, we're gonna do
What we came to do, ain't that right boo (truuuuue)
Forget the ordeal, we just go to the hall
and watch the Nine Worlds, talk as My plans unfurl

[Chorus]
I love it when you call Me Allfather
Throw your runes on the ground, if My will's to be found
I love it when you call Me Allfather
To the vitkis gettin magic, makin' life for foes tragic
I love it when you call Me Allfather
If you've got a spear at your waist, please don't pillage the place
Cause I see some Jotynja tonight who should be havin' My baby
Bay-bee


[Verse Three]
(How ya livin', Hangatyr?) In war bands and strife
Teaching battle magick to friends when things get rife
In furs and gold, in the tales of peoples old
In the mind of every mage and the kiss on every toad
Risting rows, working weal and wreaking woe
Sex, death, and power, I'll teach you what I know
Business or pleasure, whatever
You'll never find My treasure, no matter what you measure
I'm too complex for your brain, ecstasy and pain
From the roots to the stem, I'm the Man girlfriend
Tell your friends... to get with My friends
And we can be Friends
We can do this every weekend
All right?  Is that all right with you?

[Chorus]
I love it when you call Me Allfather
Throw your runes on the ground, if My will's to be found
I love it when you call Me Allfather
To the vitkis gettin magic, makin' life for foes tragic
I love it when you call Me Allfather
If you've got a spear at your waist, please don't pillage the place
Cause I see some Jotynja tonight who should be havin' My baby
Bay-bee


--filk by Siggy, to the tune of "Big Poppa" by Notorious B.I.G.