It's Not Asatru
Disclaimer: The views in this parody song are not my own, furthermore it should be obvious I am making fun of some of the things said to myself and my associates about our beliefs and practices.

I'm obsessed with the Lore 'cause it's in my mind,
I'll point out errors wherever I can find.
And when you talk about the rituals that you do,
don't you understand, girl, that ain't Asatru.
You're doing it wrong, it's almost like sin
and you better not come round me and my kin,
cause what you're doing ain't Asatru,
with your Jotuns and magick and all that woo.
The world is gonna end in ice and in fire,
and all because you Blot to Loki, that liar.
It's pretty plain and simple, the end of the worlds, so try to understand

You're out of luck, girl,
you're out of luck, girl,
you're out of luck, girl,
with Asatru
It's not Asatru,
ooh, ooh, ooh, what you do.
No, it's not Asatru,
ooh, ooh, ooh, what you do.
That isn't Asatru,
your stuff, it's not what we do,
that isn't Asatru,
your stuff, it's not what we do.

You tell me there's things, girl, we can't explain,
but you start that mess saying Loki's name.
I wish heretics like you would just disappear,
the enemies of the Gods are nothing to revere.
I can't imagine They would bless you or give you joy,
this is a folkway, not a fun game or a toy.
Why you believe as you do, I often wonder why,
but I think it comes down to you're wrong and I'm right.
How dare you say that Freyja is a sacred whore,
and let's forget about the time a dress was on Thor.
It's pretty plain and simple, the law of the world, so try to understand

You're out of luck, girl,
you're out of luck, girl,
you're out of luck, girl,
with Asatru
It's not Asatru,
ooh, ooh, ooh, what you do.
No, it's not Asatru,
ooh, ooh, ooh, what you do.
That isn't Asatru,
your stuff, it's not what we do,
that isn't Asatru,
your stuff, it's not what we do.


--filk by Siggy, original "Girl You Know It's True" by Milli Vanilli.