On Otherkin

It may come of some surprise to my readers that I identify as being "other", that being said it took me a long time to "come out" about my Otherness.  If you absolutely must know, I identify as both Jotun-blooded and a therian-berserk.  One of the reasons why I am hesitant discussing my Other-ness is due to the (not entirely unfounded) negative stereotypes that abound about "the Otherkin community".  Over the past 13 years that I have identified as Pagan I have had a fair amount of interaction both online and offline with people who identify as Otherkin.  For the record, I would say about half of my personal friends are either Otherkin or therians.  Just as my own Other-ness is more personal trivia than the defining note of my existence, I did not deliberately seek out friendships among Other-types, that tends to be more of an incidental thing, just as many of my friends are queer and that is also just the way it is.

One of the reasons why Otherkin are looked down on, from my perspective, is due to the controversy over how someone becomes "other" to begin with.  I obviously realize that if you analyze my DNA you are not going to find anything but human DNA there, and humans are really just an evolutionary step above apes.  There have been theories about how non-human traits get into a human, such as the birth parent or ancestor being possessed by the spirit of a Deity, elf, giant, or other Being, and those traits being "awakened" after lying dormant.  There are folktales particularly within Scandinavian and Celtic tradition of children being born with elven or Fae blood, and even of descended of trolls/giants (read: Jotnar) and assorted monsters.  In the case of therians I believe the bond with one's fetch (spirit animal) can be so strong that it becomes the essence of one's being or even one's soul.  There are also stories from Native American tribes and other indigenous cultures with having animals as ancestors, which again I would relate back to the spirit-possession theory.  Therianthropy can be quite useful in things such as journeying or ecoshamanic practices that work with nature itself, particularly animals.

But due to the fact that it seems pretty ridiculous to assume one is a non-human humanoid-type supernatural being, and/or an animal, whilst in a human body, Otherkin are down at the bottom of the "Pagan hierarchy".  And truthfully, to deny that there are crazy people in "the Otherkin community" is to turn a blind eye (similar to saying there are no racists in Heathenry, or that fundamentalist Christians don't hate gays).

Just as I tend to either accept, mostly accept, partially accept, or outright disbelieve someone's personal gnosis regarding Deity, this seems to be the same response I have with Otherkin.  When someone talks about being Otherkin, I think it's important to hear them out and try to understand where they're coming from, before painting them with a broad brush.

For example, I immediately disregard "otakukin", that is, people who believe they are the reincarnation of a Dragonball Z, Final Fantasy, or other video game/anime character.  I also disregard people who claim to be "soulbonds" of these characters or maintain "soulbonds" through things such as Real Dolls (in one extreme example).  It is impossible to be the reincarnation of something that has never existed either here in Midgard or beyond the veil.  I don't care how much chaos theory/pop culture magick you want to expound upon to prove how "legit" it is, there is a difference between a whole group of ancient peoples believing certain entities existed for millennia, and an idea in some artist's head that is less than 20 years old.

I also am more skeptical of people who claim to be Otherkin and are heavily involved with the gamer subculture.  Some years ago I was very big into Dungeons & Dragons, and have not played a D&D game in a few years: I'd be open to the possibility, but right now I have far too much going on to do RPGs.  I do know of several fine Pagans and Heathens who are gamer geeks, but they are intelligent enough to understand that Dungeons & Dragons and World of Warcraft are not religions.  Being a paladin in Dungeons & Dragons does not mean one will have the real-life skills to be a Thorsgodhi.  Being a mage in World of Warcraft does not mean one is now OK to "progress" into spae and seidhr.

From there, I tend to look at the way a person's Other-ness impacts their lives, and vice versa.  It is pretty common for Otherkin-types to have been bullied back in their school days, either as misfits or as complete outcasts.  There also seems to be a disproportionately high number of Otherkin who have Asperger's Syndrome (myself included!).  When you feel out of place your entire life, it is easy to want to be special, and finally fit in with people who are equally special.  And really, I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to feel better about yourself; the problem is when you think you have such great Super Speshul Magyck Shayman Powahs that you are above things like personal hygiene, being decent to fellow human beings, and doing your best in life.  None of us are exempt from having funky lives, and I would be a hypocrite for saying that people are not "authentic" if they are experiencing difficulties in dealing with "real life".  The thing is, there are some Otherkin who use their self-knowledge to develop spiritually (for example, talents with glamour and/or warding), as well as to figure out what kind of food their bodies like (sometimes a more carnivorous diet, sometimes a more vegetarian diet), or the rest patterns their bodies need (for example, some are mostly nocturnal), and other ways to increase self-care, doing these things to learn how to cope with life in this body and in this world.  And then there are many more Otherkin who want to brag about how powerful they are while even going beyond inability to care for themselves, but harming other people -- in some cases leeching off family and friends, in other cases trying to prey upon others.  I remember one example back when I lived in Connecticut of a man I knew who said he was an "elven mage" and wore all black, all the time, with a saucer-sized silver pentacle, bragging of his "elven mage" powers at specific Pagan events to try to pick up teenage Wiccan girls.  The last I heard of him, he had one girl pregnant and was living with another girl and had given both of them genital herpes, but he was still convinced he was an elite "elven mage" and that his magick would fix everything.  In far less extreme cases, I've run into multiple "Elven Princesses" who threaten to curse people with arcane elven magick if their manipulative whims are not catered to by those around them.

One of the less dangerous, but still unhealthy attitudes I see among many Otherkin is the attitude that "non-Kin" humans -- which would be most people -- are "intolerant" and "evil" and will be destroyed in "the coming battle of Kin v. non-Kin".  I have a problem with this.  First of all, you are in a human body, no matter how much spooky foo has been done to your DNA or no matter what animal you are closely aligned with.  Do you truly feel that you have lineage tinkering, or alliance with an animal spirit?  Do you honestly think you will still feel this way in 5 years?  10?  20?  Do you understand that people who share being Otherkin may not share anything else in common, and may in fact be psychotic or psychopathic, and not someone you want ruling the world "after the battle"?  (IMO, I think most people who are "newly awakened" go through a time of great despondency and feel like "humans just don't understand", until they either realize that they're still in a human body and need to get over it, or they never get over it and alienate everyone.)  Personally some of my best friends are humans and I've no reason to suspect someone's got elven blood or giant blood or is really a bear on the inside just because of physical or neurological quirk X.  I assume that most of the people around me are completely human until they say so otherwise, and I've got to find some way of taking care of myself, which usually means at least minimal contact with other humans through work, going to the store, that sort of thing.

It is OK to identify as Otherkin.  It is OK to identify as Otherkin and/or therian and even be somewhat dysfunctional: I doubt people who are content with the status quo of "normal" life are going to care too much to do the introspection and exploration of what actually makes them tick, anyway.  It is even OK if I don't personally believe you are "legit".  What matters in the end is what you are doing with it.  Are you using your Other-ness to "know thyself" and get ahead in life, or are you using it to pout about how special and misunderstood you are?  Do you realize that it is just a part of you, just like Person X is of Jewish descent or Person Y is queer -- it's OK to be what you are, but that does not make you "better" or "worse" than people who are "fully human".  This last is probably the biggest reason why there are so many negative stereotypes about "the Otherkin community", and I believe it will take intelligent discussion rather than whining about how "humans don't understand", to gain more acceptance.  We may probably never be fully accepted by Middle America, let alone Average Joe Pagan.  But the most important thing is to accept one's self -- once you are at peace with where you are at, no matter what your lineage or fetch or anything else may be, nobody can take that away from you without your consent.  When you are truly OK with who you are, the validation of others does not matter as much anymore.

(C) 2008 Sigrun Freyskona.