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The Broom Closet
(revised August 2008)

This article was inspired by a conversation I had some months back with a former friend who, after hearing I had finished my manuscript for "Gifts of the Golden God", chided me about publishing the book under my Heathen name.  As he's written Heathen articles under his legal name, he thinks anyone who writes something "should have the balls to stand by their work".  Except in the real world, it doesn't work quite like that.

At the time of this revision (August 2008), I am in fact changing my name legally to my Heathen name, for several reasons that are not important to get into here but the short short short version is I have Orders.  That being said, there was a time when I was a lot more discrete about keeping my mundane and spiritual identities separate: while not in the broom closet per se (that implies I do not ever discuss my religious beliefs with anyone), it was more like "hidden in plain sight".  I would not lie about my religion if asked, but doing mundane "real-life" events I preferred not to disclose unless there was an absolute need for me to do so.

Based on my past history and personal experience, I respect the right of people to be closeted if they want to be and do not accuse them of doing Paganism and/or Heathenry a "disservice".  Quite simply, it has to do with the age of Google.  Some of us have extended family who are fundamentalist Christians and harass us (called "witnessing") for our religious preference.  I personally don't live in the Bible Belt, but I do live in an area with a disproportionately high number of Republicans, and there are two mega-churches and Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN) within a short driving distance and plenty of folks "concerned about my soul", who have made it a point to come to my doorstep and try to preach the Gospel.  There are people who are very "out" about their Paganism in my area, however, they also seem to attract a high level of drama to themselves.  For most people, unless you are given Orders from your Gods to "out" yourself, the best way to live a quiet, drama-free life is to understand that neighbors, the checkers at the grocery store, medical doctors or government agencies do need to know anything about you business, and that includes religion especially.  Last and perhaps most importantly, most employers do a background check on their employees.  If you want to be seen as an employable person, you will understand that Paganism pretty much has nothing to do with a job that pays the bills and puts food on your table, so there's no point in saying "Oh by the way, I'm Pagan" during the interview process, and to be "outed" by HR people sniffing around, should you use your legal name for Pagan stuff out and about, qualifications at that point won't matter, weirdness will. 

There's also the matter that sharing your legal name even with other Pagans may pose a problem.  There are a lot of scam artists claiming to be Pagan, who are not above identity theft.  There are so-called Pagan leaders who are more similar to cult leaders in terms of bullying and controlling the circles they run in, who may decide to slander and libel you to the wrong people if you get on their bad side; there are people who are not so prominent but don't have a highly developed sense of ethics and may try to disrupt your private life for the Hel of it, or they might conversely be the do-gooder type (along the lines of "Real Witches (TM) don't do Such-and-Such") and decide to have the police and/or Child Protective Services called on you over a misunderstanding.  I have seen both of these types of scenarios happen to other people, never mind the drama I personally have experienced with various Pagans.   It's important to realize that until you know someone well enough for them to be proven trustworthy, if you are networking with other Pagans, your legal name is the equivalent of your home address or home phone number in terms of what can be abused.  If this sounds paranoid, note well that not everyone within Paganism is tolerant, nice, or sane.   Not *all* are like this, but it is a large enough minority that you have to pay attention.To be clear, I think discrimination is wrong.  People should not be not-hired or fired on the sole basis of ethnic origin, sexual/gender orientation, or religion.  However with the first two you can't exactly help being African-American or of Ashkenazic Jewish descent, or gay or transgendered.  It's a matter of DNA and wiring. 

With the third it is a choice no matter how much people feel they are called and compelled to whatever branch of religion they are in.  And it is possible to be a devout Pagan without feeling the need to wear a 20-pound bling pentacle, extensive eye makeup, and flamboyant clothes that would look better on Stevie Nicks than you, to prove how devoutly Pagan you are.  Most serious employers would prefer that, actually.

Should your appearance matter at the job?  In a perfect world, we could all wear our pajamas to work and nobody would think twice.  I am less concerned about my own appearance than the average female, but have learned enough about social cues to know that if I want people to take me seriously I can't look like a yutz.  The sad reality of our world is that we do judge books by their cover, and someone who looks professional is more likely to get a job and remain in a job than someone who feels the need to call attention to how spooky and powerful they think they are.

Most cases that I have heard of with employees who are fired due to gender or sexual orientation happen because of outright bigotry, because an employer goes nosing around in the employee's personal business and had an allergic reaction to the queer factor.  Most cases that I have heard of where Pagans are bitching about being fired happens because they're bad employees: being chronically late, rude to customers and co-workers... that sort of thing. 

I think the civil rights and GLBT rights movements have been successful for the most part (even while bigotry still happens) due to people showing that they're not monsters, that they are just like everyone else, that they are good people -- different, yes, but still good.  Unfortunately, most of the open and out Pagans that I have met over 13 years and bridging a wide span of various Pagan flavors, have made me realize that we as open and out Pagans are not showing people we're not monsters, that we are actually not like everyone else, and we are a bunch of whiny kooks rebelling against the mainstream because we want to be special and have super secret powers.

At age 18 I was a lot more obnoxious: if you didn't like my religion I would proceed to lecture you about the Burning Times and how your attitude was a remnant of that mentality and persecuting ALL Pagans everywhere.  At age 28 I really don't give a fig if you like my religion or not, so long as you 1. don't go digging around in my personal business for laughs one day and decide to fire me over stupid stuff, 2. don't come in my home and tell me to cut the Witchcraft crap out.  At age 18 I was young, dumb, and full of Teen Witch Enthusiasm, at age 28 I own my own home, I pay bills, and I know that stupid shit can cost a person a lot more than they think, because stupidity does not involve thinking about the consequences of such.

I think it is wrong to discriminate, but I also think what I did at 18, by insisting Christians were always persecuting Pagans, and being just as obnoxious to anyone non-Pagan as I thought they were to me, is best left in the past.  And I would encourage people who want to be the spokespeople for Paganism and change people's perceptions of Pagans, to ask yourself honestly if you're really someone who should be in that position.  If you look like a raving nutball, especially if you are filled with vitriol towards anyone who is not like you, and have publicly sliced and diced people for daring to "cross you", then really, you are not doing the public face of Paganism any goddamn good whatsoever.  For every serious Pagan who just wants to live a good life, there are ten obnoxiously out Pagans who feel that everyone else is backwards and wrong and they must force their insanity on all around them.

So, if someone is trying to live a private life in part because of dipwads who would like to put on a freak show and have everyone to not take me seriously, and that means you're in the broom closet, so be it.  It's not "wrong" to want to protect oneself, and maybe other Pagans should clean their closets, maybe even replacing those old brooms, before deciding everyone else should be forced to see their junk.  If you are representing Paganism-as-a-whole, whether you're Wiccan, Recon or Neopagan, an eclectic or part of a cultural or group tradition, you need to think very hard about your words and your deeds.  Just because it's OK for other people to be obnoxious and disrespectful doesn't mean it's OK for us too.  We will gain respect in society by being the better person.  That does not mean we can't defend ourselves, nor does it mean we have to "hide" the rest of our lives and assimilate into some cookie-cutter Middle America idea of what we should look like, and I'm aware that in a perfect world, things like religion would not necessarily affect basic common courtesy towards others.  But really, just try to think before you do things.

Unless of course you have Orders, in which case this article does not apply and I so totally feel for you.  ;P

(C) 2008 Sigrun Freyskona.