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To Would-Be Teen Witches

Before people get all up in arms, I wish very much that I had seen something like this when I began exploring Wicca at the age of 15, way back in the 20th century.  It might have saved me some heartache and BS later down the road.  Mind you, it wouldn't have stopped me -- I am and have always been too curious for my own good, the cogs and wheels of my mind never stop turning.  But it might have helped me to have a more positive experience, if only saving me from myself and some of the stupid shit I've said and done in years past.


Dear Would-Be Teen Witches,

Here be dragons.

No, srsly.

On the one hand, I admire your enthusiasm.  There is something about the perspective of youth that is refreshing to me, as I approach 30 and have been Pagan almost half of my adult life and feel decidedly less enthusiastic about Doing Great Things for the Gods and for Other People.

However, with much enthusiasm comes the potential for much heartbreak.  And so at the risk of sounding ageist, or at the very least like a mean, narrow-minded, fascist poohead, I write this letter: if I can help only one teenager avoid even one mistake that I made as a teen Wiccan, I will feel like I have paid scyld for my own teen Wiccan experience, so help me Gods.

The very first thing that you need to know is if you are under the age of 18, even if you are 6 months away from turning 18, there is not a reputable teacher worth his or her salt that will take you on.  The exception to this of course is if your parents or other relatives practice The Craft (this is not the same as a "Fam Trad", and most who say they are of a "Fam Trad" are either lying or misinformed).  Most people do not have that kind of background, and so you will find that if you ask an adult Pagan to teach you, most of them will tell you they cannot, and there are some who indeed will say they can, but you have to cast a wary eye because they might want to take advantage of you, whether financially or sexually.  There are a lot of Pagans passing themselves off as teachers who are much older guys, giving off a real creepy vibe, that have a special interest in "initiating" girls.  If you feel creeped out by anyone, you are not obligated to do anything with them, magickally, ritually, nothing.  Say no, and get away.  Your intuition may potentially save your ass.

You are also guaranteed to not be able to attend most public rituals, including those held at your local Witch shop.  Most owners and proprietors of stores that sell books and ritual supplies to Pagans have very strict policies on not entangling themselves in potential trouble, read, YOUR PARENTS.  There are exceptions but I wouldn't bet on it.

Because you will most likely not have a teacher, you are going to have to learn things yourself without the help of someone older and wiser who can help you separate the wheat from the chaff.  Most teenagers have a budget, and speaking from my own experience, we usually go for the flashy and attractive mass-market Llewellyn books, rather than boring and musty (and more expensive) books about history or mythology.  There are a few Llewellyn books I would recommend, most notably Christopher Penczak.  However anyone with the last name "Ravenwolf" or "Conway" should be avoided unless you never want anyone to take you seriously apart from your peers who will most likely jump on the bandwagon.  In my time, people got interested in Wicca after the movie The Craft came out, and more flocked to it when Charmed and Buffy the Vampire Slayer were new TV shows.  Since I don't watch TV anymore, I can't say what your motivation would be to explore this cool new idea, even though I'm aware it's not always based in TV.

My main motivation for exploring Wicca, as a teenager, was an intense dislike and distrust of Christianity based in negative experiences with extended family members who were fundamentalist Christians.  I figured if they thought I was into this demon-worship occult stuff for the music I listened to, clothes I liked to wear, and so on, I was going to find out what it was, especially as I knew Something was out there, and the idea of YHWH/Jesus didn't really resonate with me.  I wanted to have power, and I wanted to have power because I wanted to be special.  About a year after I initially began exploring Wicca, I found out that these were the wrong motivations.  For starters, most of the "powers" promoted by Hollywood don't exist, and those who actually do have psi abilities like clairvoyance are also more often than not dealing with hardcore checks and balances -- being psychically talented usually comes at a cost for being able to function in "real life".  Anyone who makes a living as a psychic is most likely scamming you, because while the real seers may take money for readings, most are bound by a personal code of ethics that prohibits lying and telling people what they want to hear, and negative "doom-and-gloom" readings tend to ward away customers (speaking from personal experience).

Moreover, religion is not a sometimes thing, it is an entire way of life, and once you decide you're going to "use" a God, if They don't like that, They'll find a way of kicking your ass sooner or later.  My ass-kicking came sooner rather than later.  (Thank You, Freyja.)

As a teenager, I was a dorky thing who, after the aforementioned ass-kicking from Freyja, spent hours and hours in the public library reading those bland-looking, musty, old-book smelling tomes with names like the Poetic and Prose Edda, and books on the history and culture of Iceland, and other strange places, to try to understand What I was dealing with, and Why They might want to deal with me.  I didn't have a lot of money, but the library books were free.   Through trial and error and discussions with the Gods, e.g. Freyja and Odin, I learned that magick is not something you do for fun or to be "cool", but can effect changes in your Wyrd (like karma, but worse) and that of others, and while "harm none" is a nice ideal, you can't even drink water or breathe without hurting some form of life.  There needs to be enough maturity to know when force is appropriate, when you're better off not trying to help someone, and when your own situation needs a little extra "oomph".

I don't expect you, Average Teen Interested in Witchcraft, to hole up in the library for hours.  But I will tell you that just because something's in a book, doesn't mean it's true, or if it's true for you, it may not necessarily be true for others.  Unless someone has a degree in history or at the very least is a well-educated layperson, they probably are pulling facts and figures out of their ass, especially if they say "everyone worshiped the Great Mother Goddess before the evil Christians came along".  And just because somebody tells you that a certain type of herb or crystal has magickal properties, does not mean it will actually do anything for you unless you magick it yourself, and that's assuming it even resonates with your energy properly.

The best thing you can do for yourself is read everything and anything, from the mass-market Llewellyn crap to the dusty, musty old books that seem boring and dry as Hel, that you wouldn't even read if your school made them required reading.  Read things on the Internet.  The Internet is a very easy and inexpensive way to get tons and tons of information, and even maybe some free PDFs of classic books or good reading material.  Also, think about what you've read.  Ask questions.  What is being said here?  Why is it being said?  How can you apply this to your own practice? 

Reading one book does not make you a High Priestess of anything, even if you have a bunch of friends who are interested in Wicca too.  If you decide to make a website about what a big bad-ass teenage High Priestess you are, it may probably come back to haunt you when you get older and try to have some kind of Pagan "cred".  I wouldn't even recommend doing a self-dedication ceremony until after you turn 18.  I wanted to do plenty of things when I was 18 that I think are nuts now that I'm 28 and have grown-up responsibilities such as a home to take care of and bills to pay.  Your beliefs and attitudes guiding those beliefs at age 18 are going to look quite different at 28, even if you are still part of Neopaganism.  Before you declare yourself the expert of all Wicca and want to give me a lecture about the Burning Times, you might be better served chilling out some of that teenage enthusiasm and "don't tell me what to do" attitude, reading more books, reading more websites, and thinking.  Thinking, thinking, thinking.  Did I mention reading?  And thinking.

And realize, please, since most teenagers don't have a lot of money even with a part-time job, that you don't need to spend tons and tons of money on spell-casting supplies, and that you can probably work better magick with visualizing hard on what you want and chanting to power that visualization, OR a polite offering to a Deity, than you can with a weird-smelling candle and arcane herbs.  Your average athame in a Witch shop goes for at least $50, and I assure you that if your parents see you with a big-ass knife they're going to take it away from you, ergo kiss that $50 goodbye.  The magick is within yourself, not within shiny cool props. 

Which gets us to the most important factor for a Would-Be Teen Witch: if you are under 18, presuming you live with your parents, they still have legal authority as to what you can and cannot do in their home.  Obviously it's wrong for them to be abusive to you, but saying "you cannot do this crap in my house" is not abuse, even if you think they're being ridiculous.  Most people old enough to have teenage kids either don't know what Wicca or the various denominations of Neopaganism are at all, or they have very bad information (thank you, mainstream media).  If you absolutely must practice under their roof, you're better off making a small, discrete altar out of a wooden box (or cardboard if you're broke), and not saying "Oh Goddess" every other sentence or telling your parents' priest that he as part of "the evil patriarchy" was responsible for the Burning Times.  However, before doing anything covertly, it might be helpful to sit down and have The Talk about what it is you're seeking, and have a list handy of correct and appropriate information on this Path, because your parents will respect honesty more than devious stuff.

I think ultimately it comes down to this:

Seeking is good.  Seeking for something Bigger Than Yourself to be a part of is great.  I worry about the future of our planet as I see today's youth more caught up in shallow, superficial, materialistic pop culture.  There is no reason why a nine-year-old should ever be given a cell phone or a credit card, yet I see it all the time.  So to be interested in magick, and to be interested in older traditions, is commendable.  But the younger you are, the harder it is to be serious about this and to be taken seriously, and many problems can arise from those two things alone.  I remember being a teen Witch, and some of the things that came out of my mouth and into my circles during those 4 years is appalling now -- and I wasn't half as "fluffy" as some of my peers who really thought they had Whitelighters and that warlocks were out to kill Witches.

Seeking is good, but it's where it takes you that can be interesting, and I write this with the hope of maybe giving you a little nudge down the right Path.

Happy trails.

(C) 2008 Sigrun Freyskona.