Woo and Ergi

They see me prayin
They hatin
I know they're all thinkin' I'm just so
Woo and ergi

Think I'm just too woo and ergi
Think I'm just too woo and ergi
Can't you see I'm woo and ergi
Look at me I'm woo and ergi

I wanna Blot with the Heathens
But so far they all think I'm just too
Woo and ergi

Think I'm just too woo and ergi
Think I'm just too woo and ergi
I'm just too woo and ergi
Really, really woo and ergi

I read all the Sagas and the Eddas
I know which translation's better
Got me a diploma with some letters
I still talk to the landvaettir
I got HRED in my library
I speak Old Norse like a dictionary
Some of my best friends call themselves Faeries
When I sing galdor I sound real scary

The Gods love coming to my rituals
I don't use a hammer to hallow spaces
I know all the powerful places
They bless my food when I say graces
I saw visions about the SoCal blaze
The world's moving into some crazy-ass days
We're lost in a modern consumerist haze
It's time people returned to the Old Ways

I wake up each day and hail the Sun (Sun)
I offer the Vanir some of my cum (cum)
I don't need runes from Ralph Blum
I go into trance with a real cool drum (what?)
I'm always singing little spirit songs
My patron God has the hugest dong
I never leave the house without my amber on
But my faith has ought to do with Klingon

(This is the part I sing on)

They see me offer to Loki
I know in my heart they think I'm
Woo and ergi

Think I'm just too woo and ergi
Think I'm just too woo and ergi
Can't you see I'm woo and ergi
Look at me I'm woo and ergi

I'd like to join organizations
Although it's apparent I'm too
Woo and ergi

Think I'm just too woo and ergi
Think I'm just too woo and ergi
I'm just too woo and ergi
How'd I get too woo and ergi

I been browsin' obscure books on Amazon
You know I collect 'em
Flora and fauna, I must protect them
I train with sword, make a husel smorgasbord
Goin' online for Icelandic media
I edit Norse stuff on Wikipedia
I'm not afraid to talk to Hel
Even though it gets cold and rot is the smell

I got a business as clergy
When my friends need runes, who do they call?
I do divination for 'em all
Even made an amulet for a dog yo
I got myself a shaman pack
So on my journeys I won't lack
Every day a different God gives me a tap
Tap, tap - hope no one sees me get freaky

I'm witchy in the extreme
I always have weird dreams
To do this and do that
For the Norse Team
Last night when I went to Asgard
They told me to become a bard
Spend every weekend absorbed in prayer
Got jingle bells on my underwear

They see me trancing
They laughing
And rollin' their eyes cause I'm so
Woo and ergi

Just because I'm woo and ergi
Just because I'm woo and ergi
All because I'm woo and ergi
Holy cow, I'm woo and ergi

I wanna post on an e-list
But oh well, it's obvious I'm
woo and ergi

Think I'm just too woo and ergi
Think I'm just too woo and ergi
I'm just too woo and ergi
Look at me I'm woo and ergi


--filk by Siggy, original "White and Nerdy" by Weird Al Yankovic, which was a parody of "Ridin' Dirty" by Chamillionaire.